Please, Advise Her: He Wants Her Back 8 Months After Cancelling Wedding Because She Missed His Father’s Funeral
My wedding was scheduled for March this year, but everything changed after my fiancé’s father passed away unexpectedly in November.
His funeral was held just three weeks later, in December. I genuinely wanted to attend, but there was one major problem: my employer had a strict policy against granting leave during the December holiday period. When I accepted the job, this condition was clearly stated. Despite explaining my situation and pleading for an exception, my request was denied.
I informed my fiancé immediately. At first, he appeared understanding. I even contributed financially to support the funeral arrangements.
Then his mother called.
She told me that if I truly wanted to become part of their family, I had to be physically present at her husband’s funeral. I tried explaining my circumstances, but she ended the call before I could finish.
When I called my fiancé afterward, I expected him to stand by me. Instead, he asked:
“If it were your own father, wouldn’t you find a way to attend?”
I explained that the situations were different because my employer might make an exception if it were my immediate family member.
That was when he dropped the bombshell:
“No presence. No wedding.”
I thought grief was speaking. I thought time would calm him down.
I was wrong.
The wedding was officially cancelled.
My family tried everything to reconcile the situation, but his family refused every attempt. Eventually, my father advised me to accept the loss and move forward with my life.
It broke me, but I did.
Months passed.
Then, on May 20th, my ex-fiancé called me.
What he said left me speechless.
According to him, I had failed the test of being a good wife because I stopped trying to convince his family after the wedding was cancelled. He said a “real wife” would have kept begging until she was accepted.
Then he announced that he had “forgiven” me.
Not only that, he had already chosen a new wedding date in August and expected me to start preparing immediately.
As if the breakup had never happened.
As if my feelings didn’t matter.
As if he alone had the authority to decide when a relationship ends—and when it resumes.
Without hesitation, I told him I was no longer interested.
His response shocked me even more.
He said:
“I’m not done. You don’t have the right to be done.”
I blocked his number immediately.
But that wasn’t the end.
A few days later, he appeared at my father’s house carrying the bride price and all the marriage items he had previously rejected.
My father told him clearly:
“My daughter has moved on. As far as this family is concerned, she is no longer available.”
Still, he refused to accept it.
Since then, he and his mother have continued calling, visiting, and pressuring both me and my family despite my repeated refusal.
Now I’m beginning to wonder:
Is this really about love, or is there something deeper behind their sudden determination?
What troubles me most is the mindset that someone can cancel a wedding, disappear for months, return when it suits them, and expect another person to simply obey.
I am now considering legal action because the constant calls, visits, and refusal to respect my decision are becoming disturbing.
My question is:
If someone ends a relationship, then later decides to “forgive” you and resume the wedding without your consent, would you see that as love… or as a dangerous sense of entitlement?
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
